Chaos

A fresh start to a fresh year and a new decade. Wow!!! Everything seems great and the first thing I would do is make resolutions. "Get active on my blog again", "Try and hit the treadmill more", "Try that new hangout place" the list might take a complete blog entry in itself so i will leave that to sometime later. The point now is a fresh start represents taking back control. I will do this, i will do that and change everything around me. And suddenly things start to role around you and suddenly you find yourself in middle of a road trying to cross it. And getting so darn worked up that you would run either of the sides as soon as you get a chance. I always used to feel the movie shots, in which a person would be standing in the middle of the traffic and vehicles would be moving around in all directions in amazing speed and all one could see is flashing lights, is so breath-taking. If you stand too long in the middle of any crossroad in your life you can actually feel the same. It is amazing how easy it is to move from being worked up trying to cross the road, trying to clinch on to a safe side all the way to enjoying the chaos all around you.

There are many ways to achieve this, one of them was shown so meticulously in DevD by Abhay Deol and how much ever I would have liked the movie I am not a fan of that approach (although one might find thousands and thousands who would swear by that way). But I am more of a close your eyes long enough, relax and open them to a whole new world of flashing lights kinda guy. As much as you might think that it takes a lot of courage to close your eyes in middle of such a chaos only to open them to a even bigger chaos or blurred view, it is not. And before you say it is stupid, it is not that either. It is more of a way to handle your problem, it is just an attitude. See, loosing focus of the traffic around you might let you focus on the road side, and not just any road side but the one you wanted to reach from the start. When Dronacharya told Arjun to focus only on the eye of the bird, he indirectly told him to lose focus of everything around. It needs a "I don't care a damn" attitude, an ability to generate a laugh out of thin air and a want to close your eyes once in a while (it is the toughest of all to achieve, a lot tougher then it might seem cause closing your eyes also mean letting go of what safe stand you have).

Now we know what we want, we know what is required,  but is it really so simple to have, so readily available on the road. Excuse me if i sounded like one of the spiritual gurus, neither am I one nor want to be. My point here is that it might seem to be so easy but it is not. See if it would have been easy, Arjun wouldn't have been one the greatest warrior with Bow and arrows, he would have been just one of the thousands or may be millions in today's world. I am sure you must have seen at least one of such people. I, personally, had a pleasure (or displeasure, however you want to put it) of seeing a lot more of such people. Beyond the achiever with tremendous focus, the genius with exceptional foresight is a huge crowd of us lowly mortals who only reach to this state of fulfillment in utter frustration and helplessness. At the point of no return, when we have nothing to lose, we do close our eyes and pull the miracle never expected of us. Since that is achieved from the point of no return, it has its own flavor of victory, rising from the depth of the valley always have a trademark smell. The smell of fear and frustration melting away. The smell of anguish making way for success. Excuse me for exaggerating but where is the challenge in a game if you know before playing that you will win. Fear of loss always have and always will, bring out the best in people.

But in the end I would wonder when would I get so frustrated to close my eyes and reopen them to a totally new world. Should I deliberately wait for the desperate time to come or should I try to close my eyes as soon as reach the crossroads? A question which has no fixed answer, Is is worth to actually stretch to the limit always, to always try to pull off a miracle or should I leave that for extreme situations. After all miracle is called miracle for a reason, the chances of it coming true are fairly dim. On the other hand if I will try with in my limits how would i know if I actually have more in me! Personally I prefer to close my eyes to open to a bigger mess because i have been on the safe side, crossed the road without traffic, even had my share of stopped traffic crossovers and it is seriously lame. Believe me, if you! Life has a different smell, different feel and of course a completely different, beautiful and marvelous view of both sides if you do so.

Do whatever suits you but I will make sure that I keep on trying to cross as many roads a possible. For finding the right path in life mostly is achieved through crossing endless number of roads.